 |
| May all adepts attain the City of Pyramids |
4th O.T.O. meditation (includes sub meditations)
I create protective sphere around the room I am in, deep purple energy sphere. I know it will be good enough to protect my body from any intrusive spirit.
With intention I leave with BoL (body of light) and find myself at the OTO gate, I enter with ease and fly straight towards the camp and before my tent.
There is a guard there, transparent; we both know he is not needed anymore. In a flash I realize that at the lower level, this guard is ego that is protecting material existence, at intermediate level he is HGA (way beyond ego) and at the deepest level (after abyss) he does not exist on his own.
I enter the tent and everything is the same as before. The feeling or atmosphere in this tent is very familiar, it is my tent.
I go to the couple of Keepers and we exchange the Words and they direct me to the OTO Lamen. There is a well and Lamen on the wall above it.
The Lamen is just a manifestation of the source, a presentation of the whole existence of the initiated OTO aspirant and the well represents consciousness in which the essence of the Lamen can be reflected. The surface of the water is in my heart, symbolically speaking.
So I relax and focus on the reflection of the water and I see there the whole OTO Lamen.
There is Light, Wisdom, Understanding, Remembering, Strength, Beauty… and Foundation, and I understand that lower symbols on the Lamen represent the transformation in the aspirant and I hear “There is no law beyond do what thou wilt”.
There is no difference; I am That, meaning that there is no difference between me standing there, and the Lamen. I am the Lamen, I am the Light, Wisdom, Understanding. There is no difference, each number is infinite, the khabs is in the khu not the khu in the khabs and there is no law beyond do what thou wilt.
(At this point meta-cognition kicks in and I see that unification with the 93 spiritual current, symbolically represented by Lamen, is happening.)
Everything else is fading away, meaning that everything else is equally important, the Spirit is not any better than the matter, everything is manifested without existing. There is the insubstantiality, anatta, everything is empty, no one exists and nothing exists.
This is above the law: nothing. There is NO LAW beyond do what thou wilt. No law is beyond, nothing is beyond or above the Law.
Chalice, heart, cross, flames. Interesting thing happens now as I focus on the lower part of the Lamen: the middle and top symbols stop shining, they just subside in the background and only lower part shines. I understand that there is no difference; it is just the present moment that counts. The Truth is manifested, currently, as the lower symbols. And I am united with these. Complete satori, samadhi, sambhodi even.
<longer pause>
I focus now on the dove. And the dove starts to shine brightly and the other two are not shining. It is a process, it is the inflow of the wisdom, love, power etc. The process itself and the dove are empty. Meaning, immaculately pure from the beginning. primordial purity, beauty and light. I unite with this easily. I am that.
And again, there is no law beyond…. Nothing is beyond. Nothing is beyond, beyond is emptiness, Nuit, Hadit, united in Rahookhuit above Kether.
I focus now on the Eye of Ra and it starts to shine brightly. It is soooooooo bright. I don’t even perceive reflection anymore, it is like being inside of the OTO Lamen shining through the Eye of Ra. Shining 12 links of depending origination, 12 zodiac signs, basically everything in manifestation is just the Light from the Eye of Ra.
There is no difference between the Eye of Ra, Ra and I and 12 emanations, everything is completely pure, primordially, empty, there is nothing beyond these three forms. And there is no law beyond Do what thou wilt, it is a negation of the Law, there is NO LAW.
The law is Do what thou wilt and beyond that, there is no law. And the No law is RHK and he is empty, for he has crushed the Universe with his omnipresent empty awareness. And we are nondual, everyone is nondual with him, whether we want it or not. If one is aware of this, s/he is free.
<looooooong pause>
The tent is empty, there are no keepers here now, for they have been integrated into this awareness of RHK, into perfect balance.
I am life and the giver of life, therefore the knowledge of me is the knowledge of death. There is no death, just Light. Wisdom and Understanding are perfectly integrated into None.
Well, I don’t feel like it but since this is a birth, I manifest again, I born myself, I reappear as an aspirant that is meditating on Me and as soon as that thought arises, I see "myself" standing in front of the OTO Lamen in the BoL.
The Keepers have manifested as well, I turn to them, they stand up and their eyes are shining. We all know very well that this is just a game, a lila, a drama, a play. We are playing roles.
So, keeping up with the appearances, I say the words: Every man and every… They smile.
I take my leave, guard is outside and we both know it is just a game.
It becomes clear to me now that after the 1st degree and these meditations it will be easier for me to live in the world, knowing that all 3 bodies and everything else in the world is just a game, a play, a drama, full of insubstantiality, of anatta.
I exit the OTO sphere and I notice no difference between the inner energy and energy outside of the OTO sphere.
I return to the body, there are no spirits there now. Protective energy is large enough so no spirits came to listen this time.
I enter the body and open my eyes. I will balance now with Star Ruby.
5th meditation
I do all the same as in previous meditations and……. find myself in front of the tent in the OTO sphere.
There is a guard there and I enter the tent. As I enter the Keepers stand up greeting me, and curiously enough, now I hear them say, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law…” and I reply, “Love is the law, love under will…”
They invite me to sit down and I sit on the floor.
The woman starts speaking:
"In this visit you ought to be asking us about the meaning of both of us, the tent and the guard outside and the ** but since in previous meditations everything meaningful has already been said, if it is ok with you, we will now integrate into you and disappear from this tent."
I stand up, willing, look deep into their eyes and I say to the woman, Babalon and to the man, Chaos, knowing that this is just a pretense, an appearance – that is just as important as everything else:
"There is no difference between the Source of the river and the river itself."
So I recognize that Keepers really are there in front of me, and I perfectly know that from a deeper perspective they are Nuit and Hadit.
I invoke them to integrate into me, their child, RHK
Everything is disappearing, the tent, guard, camp, the OTO sphere, universe, everything is gone, de-manifesting.
<long long long pause>
I stop recording here and just open my eyes and that is it. No drama needed.
I am born anew.
Fr. 418
